Another Mother’s Day is about to come, as many mothers will tell anyone “every day is Mother’s Day!” To be truthful, due to life circumstances and an inevitable maturity that comes from self-reflection my view on motherhood has radically evolved. It has ranged from loving awe and naiveté of the experiences to come, living the frustrations and challenges of raising three children with packed social calendars and sporting activities to learning how to maneuver long distance parenting. I love my children totally and absolutely, but it wasn’t until a few years ago that I really knew I was a mother. No, I am not confused; I am a biological mother to my three children. I am emotionally linked to them totally and forever, but I was faced with that question that many parents ask themselves “what wouldn’t you do for your children?” For me it became “what wouldn’t I do to my children?” I had spent several years after my divorce becoming a financially, spiritually, and an emotionally bankrupt human being. Finally after being sick and tired of being sick and tired I packed my bag, just one bag, and left.

 

Double the Kisses Double the Fun - Voices from the Ville

Gradually, I realized that the sense of me as mother had been completely turned upside down. Without the daily distractions of the daily grind of family life who was I? I could barely afford my children, I was questioning God’s purpose for me and I was so mired in my own self-pity I could barely attend to my children’s emotional needs. One day as I was lying in my bed with all three of my children piled in, the realization hit me that I was trying to be everyone else’s idea of mother and failing miserably at it. I realized that living this lie was robbing me of knowing myself and robbing my children of having the mother that they deserved to know. I asked myself two questions 1.” Lina, are you willing to continue to expose your children to the lie you are living?” No! 2. “Lina, do you have the courage to redefine yourself so that you could recognize yourself as mother?” Yes!  That was the worst and the best day of my life. I had openly admitted to myself that I needed to know myself in order to stop robbing my children of having the mother that I was supposed to be for them. However, I had to physically (I was already absent emotionally) leave my children to do it. Did I deserve this, absolutely! Did my children deserve this? Without a doubt! With that admission, I sold all of my possessions, leaving me with three changes of clothes and a suitcase of baby pictures and memories. I bought a one-way ticket back to New York, back to knowing myself and back to becoming a mother.

Happy Parenting!

 

Lina E. Krakue, Chief Operating Officer of Kid’s Night Out Parent’s Night Off, wrote this blog! With 13 years of relevant and effective classroom experience she knows what is appropriate.

 

Image Sources:// Main Image by BlogChick, Body Image by Mommy Sandwhich

Parents Night Off

Parents Night Off

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Kid’s Night Out, Parent’s Night Off is an educational and interactive childcare company providing developmental and behavioral classes/services for children. Our services are based on an educator’s 14-year training module, which we use to assist and empower parents with children from infancy through age 5.

Specifically, our services include educational babysitting, with tiered pricing designed to meet every parent’s needs, whether last-minute or scheduled in advance. This service is for children from infancy through age 10.

In addition, we offer our “Traveling Teacher’s” workshops, led by an educator with 14 years of experience and tailored to meet the needs of busy NYC families. These workshops address important issues pertaining to major childhood milestones and development. A book The Teacher’s Confession: Your Practical Guide to Childcare, owing its origins to the material covered in our workshops, will be released in June 2013.