Or ten ways to ruin your vacation. What you’re reading here is a 101 on how to annoy the people next to you on the flight and make your travel as stressful as possible. At Kid & Coe, we have stringently tried and tested the lot…(well, nearly all of them, anyway!).
1) Ditch the planning
Because vacations are about being carefree, right? Never mind that forgetting the packing lists means that you’ll forget to pack everyone’s underwear, and that trying to find your passport at the last minute means you’ll be frazzled before you even reach the airport.
2) Buy bargain flights
Make use of the cheap deals you find for inconveniently timed flights. Night flights are fine, right, because the kids will be sleeping anyway. Why do people pay more for flights during the day anyway? You’ll find out.
3) Forget food
You don’t need snacks when you’re hanging about in the airport for hours – that’s what the shops are for. Trouble is, those airport snacks are always expensive and usually very sugary. Cue sugar meltdowns onboard.
4) Relax as soon as you get onboard
Make having a gin and tonic on the flight your first priority. Don’t worry about the kids – the air stewardess will tell them off, for messing around, right? This can result in her running over your foot with the drinks trolley.
5) Travel light
That means you don’t need to bring the change of clothes that you usually have in your inflight bag. When the baby throws up on you mid flight, you might be stuck in a dirty top for hours, but when has a baby ever done that?
6) Act like a local
Don’t bother to pack wipes, food, milk, Calpol or nappies – just do what the locals do and buy them when you get there. Never mind that this means you could be spending the first two days of your precious holiday time searching out a local supermarket with hungry, dirty kids in tow.
7) Pack optimistically
See Travel Light, above. Pack just summer clothes, because being on holiday means it never rains and nobody ever gets cold. Even on a flight. Or in the evening.
8) Be a diaper change master
When baby needs a new diaper, don’t join the queues, the tray table will do. Those sitting around you will be fascinated to watch you do it too.
9) Leave it to the last minute
Because spontaneous is fun, right? While you frantically stuff your luggage with the last few items, you’ll be wondering if you locked the back door, turned off the oven or shut all the windows all holiday.
10) Don’t bother with a head count
If you’ve got a large family, don’t corral them or nag them to death. Sure, the possibility is that you might leave one behind, Home Alone-style, but Macaulay Culkin turned out OK, didn’t he?
Happy travels, everyone!
Image via Airportsinformationblog.co.uk
Do you have any travel tips to share?